A Lifetime Away
by anglmukhii
Summary: For 10 years after the war, Tenten tries to live her normal life, despite feeling the emptiness of Neji's absence. Finally, on the anniversary of his death, she realizes that she can no longer downplay her feelings...Post-canon one-shot.


_**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Naruto or any of its characters, Masashi Kishimoto does. **_

_**A/n-December 18, 2014: Well, it's the second anniversary of the release of Chapter 614 aka…the chapter where Neji…you know. I literally got this idea lying in bed and I had to write it. **__** It's a one-shot. Enjoy. **_

_**Warning: It's a NejiTen post-canon one shot, you already know…**_

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Tenten decided to close up the shop early that day. Though she complained about the usual lack of business, today it came as sort of a relief that no more than a handful of people had walked in. Every year, when this day came around, Tenten would always withdraw a little bit.

When she'd woken up that morning, it had felt like an ordinary day to her. That was until her gaze fell upon the calender. October 9th. It was the tenth anniversary of _his _death. A whole decade without him had gone by, and Tenten hadn't cared to notice. She had walked up and momentarily looked at their team photo from their genin days. Her eyes lingered for a second on his face. Although in his last years his facial expressions had greatly softened, she would be lying if she said she didn't miss that scowl.

And for an even more ominous touch, when Tenten had come home after the war, she found the glass of the picture frame cracked over his face. That glass had represented her heart at the time.

His name never fell on her lips anymore. The only times she had mentioned him even remotely in the last ten years was if Himawari had inquired about him. And even when she had, Hinata had always been around to stop her before Tenten could remember what his memories had truly meant. And Tenten never spoke his name either.

_Neji…_

The name made her wince now. Too many emotions had been attached to his name, too many memories. And a lot of pain that Tenten didn't want to deal with.

It wasn't that she was completely blocking her emotions out. When he had died, it had taken days for the grim fact to fully register. And of course, within a week of his death, it finally set in that he was gone forever and nothing she or anyone else could possibly do would ever bring him back. She did cry, she did scream. But after a night of it, she couldn't anymore. What good would that do her? What good would it do anyone?

_Neji's dead…_

As blunt and heartbreaking as it sounded, Tenten had to repeat that to herself. And within days, she had gotten used to the fact. Everyone around her had expected her to be a little upset and withdrawn after the war. But she chose to move forward with her life, even if it pained her to walk towards a future that didn't involve Neji. For the months following his death, the shop owners around her had been exceptionally nice. She didn't really have to buy food; they just gave it to her. Their kindness did irritate her slightly. She had been trying so hard to move on, but the special treatment would only remind her of his loss. She wondered if her sensei and Lee were getting the same treatment. Even then it didn't make much sense to her. In the eyes of the world, she was just his teammate. If anything, all acts of kindness and condolences should've gone straight to the Hyūga.

His absence was still felt, but she chose to ignore it. No, she didn't ignore it, but she lived with it. Neji's absence was a giant hole in both her life and heart that she learned to live with. She couldn't afford to lose herself after his death. While Neji was certainly lost to her for good, her other teammates still needed her. Sure Gai was now wheelchair bound, but that didn't stop him nor did it kill his youthful spirit. Lee was the same as ever, training twice as hard, even though now he didn't have his rival anymore. She knew they still felt the loss too, but like her they had learned to live with it. They were shinobi. Death was a part of their life.

But today marked the decade of life without him, so Tenten found herself in front of Konoha's cemetery. She had done her best to avoid this place since the funeral. She did come by only a couple of times over the course of the last ten years, but she never stayed long and she never said a word either.

Today was different, however. As Tenten made her way to Neji's grave, she shook as tears gathered in her eyes. She couldn't downplay her feelings anymore. It had been too long and psychologically draining. She would have to say what was in her heart today.

She stopped in front of his grave. There were freshly picked sunflowers on the stone. Hinata and Himawari had definitely been here. As a lone tear slid down her face, she clenched her fists and inhaled sharply.

"Hyūga…" she addressed him, her voice shaking. She was trying her best not to cry, not until she said what she had to say.

"I've held all this back for 10 years…I've only cried for you once since, but that didn't end what I've gone through. It was only the beginning. I'm still the Tenten everyone knows, I still live my life, but it's a life without you in it…" her voice broke in several places.

"The world might've known…what I was to you," she whispered the last part, still not wanting to disclose her feelings for or her relationship with him prior to his death. It was true, there had been so much more to their relationship than anyone would possibly ever know.

"Everything's changed so much. Naruto's Hokage, he's married to Hinata with two beautiful children. Lee even has his own little boy who he's training to be a third generation youth loving lunatic. The world is actually at peace for once. And me…" she sniffled. She used her sleeve to wipe the tears that were leaving her eyes.

"I can't seem to forget you. Nothing feels right or normal without you. Life hasn't gone back to normal, it just adjusted to be able to go on without you," she softly admitted. "But I'm still here. I'm still Tenten. Nothing about me has changed."

"I'll be perfectly honest, I do imagine what life would be like had you still been here," she said it rather boldly, admitting to daydreams and thoughts she'd had over the past decade. "I wish we'd had the time to explore what could've been. After seeing everyone grow up and have a family, I wonder if you and I could've ever had a chance. We both knew how we felt about each other." It was true. Their feelings were never spoken, but it was shown time and time again. But she knew how he felt and he knew how she had felt. With the two of them, feelings had gone too deep for them to ever turn back. They had gone too deep for them not to show.

"I've learned to live without you…Neji," his name left her lips for the first time in years. "I know now that I can live without you being here, but I don't like it."

"I…I…I love you, Hyūga Neji," she whispered, no longer to be able to hide her tears or broken heart. "I always have, I know that you knew that. But I wish I had been able to tell you…"

Her fists were clenched so tightly that the whites of her knuckles could be seen. The tears were now unable to be concealed. It wasn't fair, it really wasn't. After everything they had gone through, why did it have to end like this? Why couldn't she have found the same happiness with Neji as Hinata did with Naruto or Sakura did with Sasuke?

But she was proud, because of him there had been a future. His sacrifice had ensured that there would be one. "You're a hero. Everyone knows it. And I'm so proud of you. Because of you, the morale and resolve of everyone on the battlefield that day was strengthened. And you're free now. No matter what, you're finally free."

Her heart shattered at the words "free" but it gave her a sense of relief too. Neji was free and at peace she hoped. No, she KNEW he was at peace. And at that she smiled. A happy, yet heartbroken smile.

"There's a future now thanks to you. I love and miss you so much that it does kill me, and I'll miss you terribly for the rest of my days. But I never got a chance to thank you…or to say goodbye," she crouched down and touched the stone.

"We'll see each other again one day Neji. I know that I'll literally have to wait a lifetime to see you again, but it'll be worth it I promise," she gave him her final word. "I promise that I will never let your sacrifice be in vain. I promise that as long as I'm breathing, I nor any of our comrades will let the world and future that you died for go to ruins."

She stroked the stone once before getting up. And finally, she smiled a genuine, sincere smile at the grave stone. "For you, I'd wait a lifetime. And that's exactly what I intend on doing…"

_Thank you for everything, Neji. And goodbye…just for now…_

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_**Well that's it. Probably not the best thing I've ever written as I wrote this on a wave of emotions and tears at 2-3 in the morning. Sorry if it came out a little sloppy. I literally wrote down whatever came to my mind, so do forgive me. I don't know how many people still read NejiTen anymore but I do have to say this about it: To me they are every bit as canon as NaruHina, SasuSaku, ShikaTema, SaiIno, and ChoKarui(that last one is still a WTF to me but I'll take it). Tenten being shown without a family or husband sort of served as confirmation to me. Anyway I got inspired for this by quite a few Tumblr posts and fanart. Anyway, hope you enjoyed this little one-shot. Leave a review please? Thanks so much for reading. **__** Bye! **_

—_**Tough-Blossom**_


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